Sinful

**i had an interview with the new agency today, the one that will be taking over all of the clients my company serves. i really like a couple of people who work there. i dont mind working for them, but thats really not what i want to do. ive been told that if im hired, i can keep most of my caseload. thats a good sign at least. unfortunately, my caseload is so high, im in violation of state regulations. we're not supposed to have more than 30 clients. i have 32, and have since march. five of them are jackson's (lawsuit members, from when the state institutions were shut down due to abuse, and worse things). im only supposed to have 3. anyway, mostly the interview consisted of talking about my clients. not really about me. i told the interviewer that i wanted a second, more formal, interview. what the hell, i dont even think they're going to hire me anyway, but at least i tried. right now im feeling kind of hopeless, despite the fact that ive been offered jobs at several agencies ive come in contact with over the last 10.5 months. ill do what i have to, to get whats best for my clients and maintain the most consistency i possibly can. theres only so much i can do, and it just doesnt feel like its enough. it never feels like its enough, it never will.
**on a slightly lighter note, i talked to one of my friends who works in the field in the north part of the state. he's going to see what he can do to get another provider to come down here so the clients at least have a choice. all they would have to do is revise their state contract. any new agency, expidited, would take at least 3 months to go through the application process in order to be approved, and thats only if everything goes smoothly. *sigh*