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December 21, 2005

standing on the outside, looking in...

***i went to a christmas party tonight. it was one of the most awful experiences of my life. apparently i dont know the people that were at the party as well as i thought i did. first of all, i had to be late because i was visiting a sick member of the group, someone who couldnt make it to the party. second of all, one of them called just to make sure i was actually coming to the party. third-- when i showed up, no one even said hello to me. it gets better from here. three people actually talked to me for a bit. one was the person who called me - who left 5 minutes after i got there. the other two left not long after that. so there i was, sitting at least 3-4 chairs away from the rest of the group. did anyone ask me if i wanted to move? NO! of course not! and then, at one point i was the only person sitting at the table. the rest were all at the bar talking with the waiter/getting more alcohol/whatever. i paid my ticket and got ready to leave. they were talking about going to another place to consume more alcohol than they'd had at dinner. i wasnt invited, but they talked about it, knowing i could hear them. so, here i am, obviously leaving. i say goodnight to everyone and tell them i'll be out of the office tomorrow for various valid reasons. do they tell me goodbye? goodnight? see you friday? NO! of course not! that would be asking too much of them.
***i left, got in my car, started to drive away, and burst into tears. i cried so hard i could barely see to drive. and then, i turned onto 6th street where my ATM is so i could get some money for tomorrow, and barfed in the middle of the street (sorry for the visual), but i was crying so hard. it hurt so bad to be ostracised that way. i know im different, but i dont expect to be treated like an outcast.

December 16, 2005


Today, one of my clients (ER) and his staff (BT) took me out to lunch. It was great to get out of the office. I hadn't taken a lunch all week. I really needed a break today. We had an awesome time and I look forward to doing it again. ER's birthday was last friday, so this was his "birthday lunch". Next month, we're going out again for a birthday lunch, mine... More about work later. I'm so exhausted!

December 04, 2005

here kitty kitty kitty!

i went over to my friend monica's house this afternoon. we hung out and made some cookies. we were talking about the fact that me, my mother, and my grandmother's house all seem to have at least one mouse trying to move in and live here. BLEH!! i love little mouses and guinea pigs and stuff, but i do not want a non-pet rodent living in my house! so i was telling her about it and said something along the lines of "i really need a cat." right then, her mom called. monica's mom, stepdad (ron) and brother (nathan, who's an old friend of mine) have an office just below ours in the same building. apparently her mom and ron found a little kitten, about 4-6 months old, curled up in a corner of the corridor leading into our building. it was cold and hungry, shivering. they thought it was dead. so monica and i took some food and a cardboard box with a trashbag over it and some litter up to the office. the kitty and i bonded. monica couldnt take her because she's already got 2 dogs and five cats and is about to get another dog (maybe)... monica's mom and ron couldnt take her because they already have some large cats that would eat her alive. nathan couldnt take her because his landlord doesnt allow pets. so nathan and i went to walmart and got a carrier and some other supplies. we'll see how she bonds with the dogs. kittie has already warmed to her, but she's still scared. pickles and bobo... im not too sure about yet.