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February 12, 2006

sometimes i really dont like my job

**Ok... I dont know how many times I've told you guys how much I love my job. Maybe I've been lying to myself all this time. I dont know how much I really like it anymore. Its lost that honeymoon feeling, to a degree.
**they dont pay enough. here's a similar copy of the ad we've got in the paper...
FULL-TIME Case Manager position to work in the southeastern new mexico region with persons with developmental disabilities. Requirements: BA or BS in human services field or related discipline; Bilingual preferred, 1 year experience working with adults/children with developmental disabilities. Must have own transportation; experience with Word97 helpful. reply to ........blah blah blah........
what they dont tell you is that its 40 hours per week, but generally (if youre actually working) you end up putting in at least 50. often, you take the work home with you, if not physically (like paperwork), then mentally. it turns into a real emotional drag. i cant count how many nights now that ive lost sleep because im so worried about my clients. all this for $24,000 a year. other places pay more than $30k. it isnt all about the money though.
**there's too much stress. i feel, quite often, that i dont have the "backing" from coworkers. this blog entry is a very good example of what im talking about. those were my coworkers!
**lately, the only reason why i stay is my clients. i care deeply for them and ive seen how much it tears them apart when they lose a staff member. for most of my people, ive known them for years, and ive been their case manager for almost half a year now. theres a couple of my coworkers that i care about, and i'd hate to stick them with the extra work. its so hard to get people to work for us as it is. its even harder to keep them.
**i miss being direct care staff. i hate only seeing my clients 30 minutes - 1 hour a month (on average)... if we're there for the client, why dont we see them more? it makes me sad. maybe i'll find a job with one of the provider agencies. here's hoping.