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April 24, 2005

on being sick

**i got my first shot on friday. i can tell you (having experienced this for the 7th time in 18 months...) that this is -not- fun. first of all, the needle is huge. and it gets shoved into my asscheek. then, when they push the liquid, it makes this disgusting noise, sort of like a gurgling noise... the kind that makes you think of "the squirts." i'm sure everyone knows what i mean by that. *gross*
**i felt like crap all day friday, but instead of going to bed like i should have, i ended up finishing preparing for a presentation for class on saturday. i didn't sleep well friday night, going to bed at 1115p and falling asleep after 230a is not cool.
**on saturday i got up at 520, to get ready for the drive to portales. i hate doing presentations. everyone got to my house around 7 and we left about 715. the presentations sucked. they -s-u-c-k-e-d-. we got home at about 5pm... and do i go rest? no. another stupid thing of me to do. hot flashes, freezing spells... oh, and i noticed more hair in my brush than usual. the hair-thinning begins! thankfully, i wont go bald.
**on going bald: my mom told me the other night that if all my hair falls out this time, she and my sister are going to donate their hair to locks of love. i think this is a very noble thing to do. on another note, we're doing the american cancer society's relay for life on friday night (the 29th)...

April 20, 2005

finally, something is happening

im finally getting somewhere with the insurance/pharmacy/doctor's office. i should be receiving the chemo tomorrow by fedex, and ill be getting the injection on friday. unfortunately, that means im going to be feeling like crap, and ive got a presentation in portales for class on saturday. at least something is happening now. and even better, instead of paying $800 for each treatment, its only a $38 copay. not as "good" as last time i had to do this (which was free) but certainly better than $800.

April 19, 2005

more nc news

naughtycloset.com is coming together, its trying to, at least. so far, the index has a link to this blog, a link to the gallery, and an email link... im so proud of myself, i actually set up email accounts for my "staff" today. *grin* and the gallery... which wasnt too bad.

April 18, 2005


Yesterday, I registered naughtycloset.com with godaddy. One of my kind friends from my irc channel will be hosting the site for me. So far, several of us have concocted what will be going on the site. A picture gallery, forums, and maybe my blog will be there. I'm kind of excited, and being very impatient about it going up. Several of us have been checking to see if it's resolved yet, which it hasn't. So far, special thanks go out to Pierce (for hosting), Jeff (for ideas), Gimpi (for making the sign to go on the index and giving me the code for it), and SomeUser, therock247uk, and dil for their input and advice. It has been a great help!

April 13, 2005


**havent heard anything back on the lupron yet. however, some people have expressed interest in wanting to know if im going to be "BALD" or not.
**in answer... no, i wont be bald. some of my hair will fall out because of the chemo. and ill look like crap. and feel ugly. and ill cry a lot and ill be nauseated most of the time. but mostly people wont even notice the hair thing. luckily, ive got a lot of hair, its long and its thick.

April 12, 2005


**so i spent a few hours on the telephone yesterday and achieved this: im going back on lupron. eww. but i got a new pain med. oxycontin or something. it makes me a little loopy. i can just see trying to concentrate in class on this shit. my mom even took my car keys away yesterday.
**the local doctor's office and the insurance company are already working on getting the lupron. i cant get it from a pharmacy here in town because theyre not licensed to carry chemotherapy drugs. its ok, its cheaper this way. the insurance company pays for all of it ($800 every 30 days). and, it gets sent to me, not to be lost in some doctor's office. the only thing ill be out is a $2.10 needle disposal and handling fee. which is nice. anyway, the bad thing is that it can take awhile for the paperwork to go through. at least theyre already working on it. :\

April 11, 2005


**i went to the doctor on tuesday last week, for a follow-up from the surgery. everything was going well, so it seemed. the recovery was slow-going, and i was still in some pain. they decided to change my medications, i agreed because with the information provided and a lot of research on my part, it seemed like the thing to do.
**turns out, it wasnt the thing to do. on friday, i started feeling really bad, and grew progressively worse until today (monday). i finally broke down and called my doctors in albuquerque. i am going back on chemo. until the prescription can be filled, i get to go back on the old medications, and something different/stronger for the current pain level.
**i dont really mind my hair falling out and being nauseated if its a trade for wanting to put a pistol to my head and pull the trigger. i cannot remember the last time i hurt this bad, even before the most recent surgery.
**more on this later. im waiting on my local physician to call me with more info.