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pain

**i went to the doctor on tuesday last week, for a follow-up from the surgery. everything was going well, so it seemed. the recovery was slow-going, and i was still in some pain. they decided to change my medications, i agreed because with the information provided and a lot of research on my part, it seemed like the thing to do.
**turns out, it wasnt the thing to do. on friday, i started feeling really bad, and grew progressively worse until today (monday). i finally broke down and called my doctors in albuquerque. i am going back on chemo. until the prescription can be filled, i get to go back on the old medications, and something different/stronger for the current pain level.
**i dont really mind my hair falling out and being nauseated if its a trade for wanting to put a pistol to my head and pull the trigger. i cannot remember the last time i hurt this bad, even before the most recent surgery.
**more on this later. im waiting on my local physician to call me with more info.

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