Sinful

today i went out to my mom's classroom. because its thursday. i live for thursdays. anyway... i said before, my mom's a teacher. i go out on thursday's to her school to volunteer with the kids. normally i hate kids, especially small ones, but these, i cant help but love. i think they like me. they seem to be responding to me.
i went with mom out onto the playground, where we watched the kids have recess before lunch (this is weird, ive never heard of recess -before- lunch). and one of the girls, aaliyah (who is the daughter of a longtime friend of mine - i talked about her last week i think) was walking to some other girls. this bigger boy was running after a ball and knocked her down -hard-. he didnt mean it. he didnt even see her. so, she was kind of banged up. this girl is so tiny. i swear she probably weighs ~40lbs., if that. he took her out completely, but not intentionally. she was bawling, i wanted to pick her up and carry her inside. sadly though, no one is allowed to touch the students unless the student initiates it. i guess this is mostly for sexual harassment prevention. she clung to me. we went inside to the restroom and got her cleaned up. i still wanted to carry her though, some crappy ass maternal instinct kicked in when i saw she was hurt. i hate those feelings.
after lunch, i hung out in the room some more. i taught the english and the social studies lessons for today. its kind of nice. i almost miss teaching, but not enough to become an actual teacher. besides, i already said, i dont like little kids. but they like me, and this is ... scary. theres this little boy, adrian. he sits and does nothing, plays with stuff to avoid doing work. you could say hes the class troublemaker. every class has one. i feel bad for adrian. i think he is too smart for his own good. he is the one that gets to sit right at the front of the room, right next to where mom teaches from, presumably for her to keep an eye on him. he needs a lot of redirection. anyway, he was playing with his eraser instead of doing his work, so i leaned over and asked him what was wrong. he said it was boring, that they already knew what nouns are, why do they have to keep relearning it? i told him that i understood completely. i know exactly how he feels. he says 'ive had detention every day since august.' and i asked him why, to which he replied 'because i hate doing my work, its boring. so i dont do it. then i have to go to detention. i have to miss recess.' i just looked at him. and then i told him that he was probably too smart for his own good, and thats why he was bored. he then told me that science is his favorite subject. he said if he could do only science, he would get all his work done. this kid totally has a passion for science. he reminds me of me, angry and passionate. we talked for a little bit more, and i was telling him how everything else, all the other subjects like english and math, could be tied into science, how they all fit together and you couldnt have one without the other. it seemed like he understood. whatever it is that i did, for the next hour that i was there, he worked earnestly, even when no adults were near him. i told mom that perhaps he'd get better as time went on. maybe if i work with him a little more... maybe, just maybe, he wouldnt be so bored. adrian thought it was awesome when i told him that i used to belong to a science club, he said he wanted to join one too. i told him to hold out for middle school, and then join science olympiad. mom invited me to teach the science classes next week, im seriously thinking about it (she hates science, i love it).