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days seem longer, but there's very few left.

my morning started out with me showing up to the office (on time for once) after stopping by a client's house to do a quick visit. my supervisor proceeded to tell me that im not to make any more trips to carlsbad, "no more carlsbad trips. youve been going there way too much as it is." so i tell her "thats fine. i finished all my transitions yesterday." and then... i start transitioning my clients. two case managers from the other agency were working together to grill me about my people. one is a former classmate/friend of my mother's. the other is brand new, and has never worked with the DD population before. i wasnt impressed. dont get me wrong, she wasnt a bad person, it just pisses me off that they'd rather hire someone who has absolutely NO experience, than me, who has a fairly decent amount of experience. so we run through one client after another... from 815am until 1215pm. they went to lunch real quick, i went into my office. i found my personnel file sitting on my desk right next to my purse. i know it wasnt there before. i ignored it. drove to sonic real quick and got a coke, checked the mail and went back to the office (about a 10 block trip all the way around.) i went back to the office and the person babysitting us from DOH asked me for a file because we'd gotten denied on it and she was offering to respond to the denial. nice of her. it took me forever to find the paperwork she was looking for, because someone conveniently put it in the wrong area (and no, it wasnt me.) ive been out of the office so much, and people have been going through it while im gone that it was a disaster, even worse than it was before i was out so much.
while im in there looking for the paperwork, the supervisor (same one as before) comes in and says, 'i just got off the phone with barbara (our owner). she said for me to start cutting people on july 31. those who have the most to get done and are the furthest behind will get cut first because they're non productive. i just wanted to let you know.' and then she stared at all the stacks of paperwork and files. and then this, "just reminding you, no more trips to carlsbad. and also (artesia) called and complained about you. said that you were 'hijacking' the meetings and using them to talk about yourself." so i told her: 'good. im done there anyway. thats funny, i havent been to artesia in over a week, and just finished all my transitions for them this morning. i havent held any meetings there. its probably carlsbad thats complaining and thats total bullshit because the casemanager from the other company ran the meetings. i just answered questions.'
and then i told her thats it was fine about leaving 'early'. that i already thought july 31 was our last day anyway. it doesnt hurt my feelings any if im let go because i was already expecting us to be closed by then. i then told her the reasons why im so far behind: i have more people than everyone else does and that my caseload is spread out more than anyone elses is. that ive been doing everyone elses work and every time i get caught up, they change my caseload, so im never caught up.
of course this is a 'blessing in disguise'. im sick of working with those people anyway. she told me they're keeping the D&E side open until the 31st of august because they cant transition people until then. i know monica's leaving on monday. im pretty sure becky is too. im betting ill be let go as well. that means that all the 'non liked' people will be gone and they can have the office all to themselves. good for them. i intended (if we were really closing in august) to get all my files and things cleaned up and transitioned nicely. good luck to those left behind cleaning up the messes that were dumped on me. i like the supervisor ok, but i wont stand for anyone's bullshit. ive taken 11 months too much of it already as it is.
looks like i only have two days left. thats too damn bad. most of my clients ill have contact with anyway, whether others like it or not. the guardians like me, the clients like me, and the providers like me.
and also, to top it off, instead of going to take the bat to get her cateract surgery tomorrow morning, im going to be in the office instead. grandma's pissed at me. i got home and she yelled at me about how i lied to her and that i was irresponsible, and that i was lazy. then, whenever i tried to talk to her she kept turning up the volume on the tv. i gave up. she didnt talk to me the rest of the evening.
and when i got home, i went to put the dogs inside, got them in, went out to the car to get some more stuff id packed up from my office, and bobo got loose. damn dog. i ended up walking around in the fucking rain looking for the little fucker for almost half an hour. i liked to have beaten him senseless, but i knew if i smacked him i might take it too far because im losing it. probably ive already lost it. maybe i never even had it. anyway, i got some good exercise, but its not like i really wanted to or anything. i lost 8 pounds this week. probably thats from not eating/not being able to hold down food. *shrug*.

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