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June 26, 2007

a quiet plea

i dont normally ask for prayers but i would like to appeal to my friends online to keep me, and some other people in my life, in their thoughts the next few days:

i have been hoping for a promotion at work for quite awhile now. i am hoping that will come later this week. if it doesnt, i will be angry and upset, and i will most likely be actively searching for a new job, because im sick of getting fucked over. there is no sane reason why a hardworking person with a bachelor's degree in management should be the second in command to a person who is lazy, as well as a high school dropout who barely got their GED.

my best friend, erika, will be losing her job tomorrow. she used to work in the same store i do, but due to circumstances beyond her control, her boss wants to let her go. sadly enough, its because the customers where she works are complaining that she wears too much black, and they think she's a devil worshiper - which she isnt. she was a christian missionary overseas for several years. if i am promoted at work, the she will probably be coming back to work with me, as my second in command. if not, she may lose the place she lives if she cant find another job soon. she has a four year old son.

one of my close online friends is in a bad place in life right now and is doing his best to overcome health issues that caused him to lose his job. because of that, he will be losing his home (like erika, but for different reasons). he is starting a new venture in life and we are all hoping that it takes off and does well.

another very close online friend has been nominated for an award, we will know if he is selected by monday, july 1. we hope everything works out because many good things will come from this nomination.

if there is anything else anyone would like to add, please feel free to do so. replies arent necessary but are certainly welcome.

June 13, 2007

what changed

in regrettable sadness, i realise that the last post i made was on april 30. yeah, we all go on hiatus but this is even a bit long for me. at least i think it is, mostly because so much has happened in the last 40+ days. i dont even know where to begin. most of you who read this blog talk to me nearly everyday anyway so the majority of it will be about things youve already heard.

*we hired a new girl. charaty started may 1. today she was finally 'approved' to work the store by herself. praise god for this because its about fucking time i got a day off! veronica no longer works for us. she looks like she'll pop any day now, even though shes not due until august. im pretty sure shes a lot further along than she thinks she is. *shrug*
*once again i feel like ive been stabbed in the back. time and time again im told that if judith fucks up one more time 'shes gone'. ive been told that repeatedly since december and ive about had it with being lied to. i wonder daily why i work as hard as i do. i bust my ass for that store and the company but im getting no help and no support in return. i have a bachelors degree IN MANAGEMENT! judith is my immediate supervisor, the store manager, and she was a high school dropout who barely got her GED. does this seem fair? fuck no. what makes it even worse is that she makes twice what i do and does half the work. dont give me any shit about 'thats how it is in management'... because its not. this isnt the real world, this is the world i live in... every day. how hard is it to vacuum the floor at night? she cant even do that. today was a great example... she closed last night. the registers were both short --- AND the deposit. the bank called me and had me go in to fix it. which subsequently made me late opening the store. not only is she too incompetent to vacuum, she cant even fill out a deposit slip correctly. she never thinks things through, she never plans ahead, and when she is actually -doing- something, she does it half-assed. im sure you guys are sick of me bitching about her.
*to top all this off, the district manager came a couple weeks ago. she chewed my ass out for three and a half hours about how the new girl isnt trained properly, shes not in dress code, she doesnt know company policy, the store looks like shit, nothing is right and everything is wrong. i was working a double that day (13 hours) and i was NOT in the mood. especially because id spent the day before (12 hours) in the car and sitting in a doctor's office waiting room in lubbock, with my grandmother. it gets better.... the next day the DM stopped into the store to see judith before heading back to el paso... and told her to fix a few things. then she left. no yelling, no hatefulness, nothing. not a word about the new girl's training or about the missing/incorrect paperwork, or how bad the store looked. 'fix this, bye.' was pretty much all it consisted of. im angry.
*on a lighter note... i feel semi-accomplished today. i spent nine hours reversing the order of all the stuff on the back wall at the store. (this was one of the things the DM was bitching about) its a fairly large wall with a lot of shit on it, making it not an easy nor a fun task to do. but its done and im grateful. i can look at my store and point out several large sections and say "I DID THAT!" and feel somewhat proud of it. gimpi and gnimsh have seen a store quite similar to mine so they can understand what an onerous task this is and how difficult it was to accomplish.
*i went to dinner with my friend monica last week. the one i worked with at desert state (the social work agency). im really sad and scared for her. she was recently diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. i guess she got really really sick really really fast. in december she'd mentioned to me that one of her legs was feeling kind of numb, that maybe she'd pulled a muscle. at my birthday dinner in january, she said that she couldnt feel either of her legs and thought that she had a slipped disc and asked about my chiropractor. i hadnt heard from her since then. i got an email from her one day and we decided to go to dinner. over dinner, she told me the rest of the story. apparently, sometime in march, her friend lisa came to live with her (no explanation of why, but i figured it out for myself. lisa was worried about her and moved from fort worth to come be with her.) by the beginning of april, monica could barely walk. it got so bad that monica's parents and lisa packed her into the car and drove in the middle of the night to the texas tech university medical center in lubbock. she was in critical care for two weeks and then was diagnosed with MS. monica was afraid to tell me... it hurts me that she couldnt find the words to tell me that something was wrong, but i understand why she didnt. friends do that to each other all the time. we gloss over things or conveniently leave them out so as not to upset or scare the other person. i hope that in the future, no matter how bad things get, that she knows she can call me, she can always count on me, any time. i hope that she isnt afraid to say something that she thinks will hurt, even if it will hurt. it hurts more not to know.
* moving on... the bat said something to me today that kind of made me sad but it was nice. my mom called while i was gone. i called her back. she asked where i was. i was at the cave. i asked where she was. she was having dinner with stink. it made me sad that they hadnt invited me. mom calls later from home. her cat is missing. i call back later to see if she found the cat. shes out having coffee with stink's friend/roommate cara. again, i wasnt invited. im never invited. i said something to the bat along the lines of 'im sure glad my mom would rather hang out with my sister's friends than with me. it must be nice to be somebody's favorite...' the bat says 'you may not believe this, but you ARE my favorite.' which i countered with 'we both know thats not true but thanks for trying to make me feel better.' she says, 'no, really. you come over here when you dont have to. you spend time with me. you do things for me and i dont need to ask you to do them. you offer. you take me places without complaining. ever. im glad i have you. if it werent for you, id be a lonely old woman.' that made me really sad. when i was leaving i said, as im walking out the door, 'thanks for letting me hang out with you.' she says 'im glad you want to hang out with me. ill see you tomorrow.' hows that for feeling special?
*enough. this is too long already. id be surprised if you didnt stop reading before now.
*oh yeah, and something else that makes me feel 'accomplished' today, is that i paid ALL of my bills yesterday, including some that weren't due yet. i also did all my laundry and hung everything up and put it away. I EVEN IRONED!! tomorrow i intend to clean the house and go get my nails done (omg, im really becoming a girly-girl! monica, youd be damn proud!)