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May 25, 2006

graduation celebration

**so, as i said in my post a few minutes ago, my sister graduated this evening. i hope she enjoyed it. i have to admit, i had an awful time. first, i had a rather crappy day. i worked, it sucked. i got home, changed clothes, tried to look nice. my hair wouldnt cooperate. i was pissed. called my mom, who said for me to meet them at the cave and we'd all go together. i get there, and mom's already gone, and the bat insists on taking her own car because she's only going to the dinner. so i get mad because mom didnt follow the plan and grandma is being a jerk. i yelled at her something along the lines of 'grampa was on his deathbed and still went to my fucking graduation, what's YOUR problem?' i admit that was wrong of me, and incredibly rude, but i was already having a bad day. so im driving up there, and my dad calls wanting to know where everyone's at. i told him that i didnt know where the fuck shelby and mom were but that grandma was on her way, in her own car. so we get to the restaurant. order. i asked stink where her boyfriend was, she said he didnt want to come and that he wouldnt be going to the ceremony either. (after i had to make sure he was included in the reservation count.) so by this time ive really had it and i blew up. i said 'well apparently he REALLY cares about you, since he doesnt give a shit about anything YOU do.' and some other things that werent really nice. i hate the guy, he's scum. i could say worse things but i hate him so much i cant even put it into words. btw, if youre reading this jonathan, you're the lousiest piece of shit there ever was. i think even my mom's ex husband randy is better than you. so... after dinner we're getting ready to go to the commencement, and mom asks if i can get her some water from sonic. yeah, sure. so i go do that and when i get to the football field, they didnt even save me a place to sit. i stood for 1.5 hours, outiside the fence to the track until mr. d. saw me (see previous post) and made me go sit down on the cement next to the track with him. he's argued on my behalf to the security guards that he knew me and that i was a handicapped person who had every right to be down there with him because i couldnt climb the steps up into the stands. 20 minutes later, graduation is over.
i called stink afterwards, and it turns out she was on her way to the same restaurant (with the ratfaced boyfriend) that we had eaten dinner at. i guess he thinks hes too good for our family. as far as im concerned, he can rot in hell. i also want to say that because of this guy, i never see stink. i really do miss my sister.

**and thats how -my- evening went. :\

reflections of highschool

**ok... so tonight i watched my baby sister, stink, graduate from highschool this evening. it brought back a lot of memories, though i cant say they were good ones. im happy for her and i wish her the best in all she does, though she would disagree and say that whenever i try to give her advice, i am only 'ruining her life' and that her 'family hates her'...

**so, that being said, onto the 'nostalgia'--
i remember what hell school was for me. three and a half years of torment, hate, and 'im better than you are' syndrome. i remember being an outcast because i didnt conform to the way society (or my classmates for that matter) thought i should be. i wore black clothes, had black hair, and was incredibly pale (none of that has changed). needless to say, i didnt have that many friends in highschool, and still dont. i prefer keeping to myself. anyway, i remember all the teachers that hated me because i wasnt one of those students who could be taught anything. i already knew what they were trying to 'teach' me. i was so bored in class that i was miserable. if it wasnt for three faculty members in that school, i can promise without a doubt, that i wouldnt be here today. kay was my 'gifted' teacher. she was the one teacher who accepted me for who i was and worked so hard to get the other teachers to see me for me. instead, all they saw was a 'smart assed, know it all' kid. i got kicked out of a lot of classes because the teachers didnt like me. i had a tendency to correct them, and most of the time i was right, that made them mad. i spent the better part of three and a half years in kay's classroom. mr. k was our assistant principal at the time, he kept me out of trouble and gave me a place to go to when there was nowhere else to go (kay's classroom). he made it possible for me to never attend my registered class, but still get all my work so i could do it in kay's room. mr. d. was my guidance counselor. he helped me get into senior level classes as a freshman in highschool, into college as a sophomore, and helped me get all the classes i needed by the end of the first semester of my senior year. i graduated in december, but didnt walk until may. i only had one class my 'senior' year. AP english 12, for 1.5 hours a day, for one semester. block scheduling was great. i turned 18 in january, and had a full time job a little less than 2 months later. i moved out of my mom's house the day i got my first paycheck. one could say i grew up way too fast...

**on graduation:
i remember skipping baccalaureate... not because i didnt want to go (which i didnt) but because i didnt have a choice, i was working. i remember having to switch shifts with my friend/coworker/mentor teresa so i could go to graduation. i remember walking down the football field at the wool bowl and sitting in those godawful chairs for what seemed like forever. i dont remember our keynote speaker, our salutatorian, or our valedictorian. i dont care to remember. im sure they were people i didnt give a shit about in the first place anyway. i remember that it was too damn hot and very uncomfortable. i also remember going back to work right afterwards. so much for the whole highschool is over i cant believe i graduated party... the one thing that stands out in my mind the most is that my freshman class had 540 people in it... we graduated 112. isnt that sad? heh.