Sinful

every time i listen to this song it brings back memories. just thought id share it with you all. its quite a good song, and if you havent heard it, you might give it a listen... you might like it.

The Used - It's Hard To Say Lyrics

the singer finished singing and she's walking out
the singer sheds a tear fear of falling out
and it's hard to say how i feel today
our years gone by, and i cry

it's hard to say that i was wrong
it's hard to say i miss you
since you've been gone it's not the same

my worries weigh the world how i used to be
and everything in cold seems a plague in me
and its hard to say how i feel today
our years gone by, and i cry

it's hard to say that i was wrong
its hard to say i miss you
since you've been gone it's not the same
it's hard to say i have my
it's hard to say if only
since you've been gone it's not the same

words that i fear is the lie i told a thousand times before
words that i fear is the night
but it's hard to say how i feel today
our years gone by, and i cry

it's hard to say that i was wrong
it's hard to say i miss you
since you've been gone it's not the same
it's hard to say i have my tongue
it's hard to say if only
since you've been gone i'm not the same
it's hard to say (god it's hard to say)
since you've been gone, i'm not the same

Posted by sin at 01:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

**I GOT A JOB!!!
**so heres to you, the motherfuckers who gave me a bad reference. in your face! they liked me no matter what you had to say.
**i start on September 1st at 8am, so you guys wont see quite as much of me after then. at least we'll have the weekends and evenings.

Posted by sin at 04:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)

**ok, so i had my second interview today. it went rather well, if you ask me. they asked me some follow up questions to clarify what i told them in my first interview. they seemed to be pleased with the answers i gave them. (i could get rather wordy and long winded if i went into detail, so ill leave the rest of that part out). then before i left, they asked me if i had anything id like to share with them.
**so i opened up and let it flow. i told them everything i could possibly think of that anyone may have said that could be used against me. they seemed happy with those answers as well. i didnt lie, i have no reason to. i told them about problems i had had working for a service agency and then the problems i had with the workstudies out at the college. i may have been rather vague, but after i worked for the last 6+ years in jobs that require confidentiality, i had to be. i almost cried, remembering some of the things that happened at those other jobs. all in all, i wanted to let them know i had nothing to hide. i even told them about a situation that happened at the service agency and explained to them why it still brought tears to my eyes remembering it. it still upsets me that much. i was told that that's one of the qualities they look for in a case manager, someone who cares about their clientele. so i replied that i do sometimes get emotional. if it didnt upset me, it would mean that i didnt care. i -do- care, or else it wouldnt bother me so much after all this time.
**so. im in a rather good mood, i even left smiling... i should know something next week.

Posted by sin at 04:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

**i talked to someone the other day who told me i may have gotten a bad report from one of my references. it doesnt surprise me that someone may have given me a bad rap. what surprises me is who it probably came from. i may have had some problems at a couple of the places ive worked at, but in truth, it wasnt just a problem with me. a couple of places i worked for had other workers with lesser work ethics than i do. this isnt surprising, because as far as i, and most of my former employers are concerned, my work ethic is strong, and my record with them is immaculate. these other coworkers of mine not only had attitude problems because i had seniority over them, but they also had a bad habit of not showing up to work on time, if at all. calling in, lying, coming late. i spoke with my supervisors at these places about it. apparently that makes me hard to work with and i "deserve" to be given a bad recommendation. assuming this business about someone giving me a bad reference is true. its illegal, nonetheless.
**anyway, getting to the point of this post. i just got a call back from the place that interviewed me last week. they want to re-interview me again tomorrow. this is a good sign. im going to keep my fingers crossed, but dont expect me to hold my breath. ill be making a post on the second interview tomorrow. maybe ill get this job afterall. god i hope so, my bank account is about under.

Posted by sin at 01:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Talking to my friend Daniel was really helpful. He just happened to sign onto msn this evening and we talked for a bit. It made me feel a little better but I still am worried I won’t get this job.

Here’s the conversation between Daniel and me in case you’re interested.

Daniel: whats up
nic: surprised to see you online.
Daniel: i know
nic: just sitting here, i happened to look at msn and see you on.
nic: whats up?
Daniel: so what did you think of the interview
nic: i think i could have been a whole lot more confident and "sold" myself better if i hadn't seen pat's name on the list when i signed in.
Daniel: Do NOT worry about that
nic: that was a real downer
Daniel: you did great thats all i can say, k?
nic: thanks, you made me feel better.
nic: i came home and cried. :P
Daniel: WHY
nic: because i was upset! i was thinking, "pat has a shitload of education and experience on me. all ive got against her is personality." and thought also that if pat applied for the job, there were other people i know that are more qualified for it than i am. i was really discouraged. thats just my thinking, you know me. the everlasting pessimist.
Daniel: Well lets just say this, you have nothing to worry about K. I gave an excellent reference. It is up to the others to decide. Because i was a reference, my vote doesn't count. But my reference does.
nic: do you have any idea when a decision is going to be made?
Daniel: they should make a decision by friday

Posted by sin at 09:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

today i had an interview with a case management agency ive wanted to work for for nearly five years now. all hopes of getting this job were dessimated upon my entering the building, as i looked at the visitors list to sign in and one of my old supervisor's name was printed right above where i was going to sign in. lovely. all my confidence went right down the drain. now i get to wait for the call of rejection.

Posted by sin at 02:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)