This is a true story, the names have been omitted to protect the guilty.

Two guys decided they wanted to go bird hunting in the Eastern part of the state. They drive over there and camp. After a late breakfast/early lunch consisting of sausage and bacon and eggs they head out. As it is hot they are dress less than fully. Guy A is wearing a hat, camo pants, boots and socks, guy B is wearing shorts and boots and socks. Neither is wearing a shirt. After about a mile of walking guy A sees that guy B is acting kind of odd.

A little while later guy B asks guy A if he has any toilet paper to which guy A says no. Guy B is in a panic, he has to crap really bad, he asks do you have anything I can use to wipe my ass with? Guy A says no, use one of your socks or your underwear. I'm not giving you my hat.

Guy B goes to take a crap, after he is done he asks if guy A is sure he doesn't have anything he can wipe his ass with, guy A tells him to use a sock or just not wipe and to burn his underwear later in camp. So guy B comes back walking all kinds of funny because he didn't wipe his ass. As he's walking around he's looking around and finds a piece of tarp. Aha! I found something to wipe my ass with he says. So he uses the tarp to wipe his ass.

They decide to go back to camp, when they get there guy A is hungry and starts to cook some hot dogs over the fire while guy B goes to change his underwear. As guy A is sitting there cooking hot dogs he feels something go by his head and land in the fire, it was guy B's dirty underwear. Guy B says if I had brought those home my wife would have killed me.