ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
*why bother when you're always being taken for granted?

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their
conversational skills will be as important as any other.
*this doesnt work when no one listens to you in the first place

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all
you want.
*doesnt apply here. i sleep 3 hours every night.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
*even if it breaks your heart?

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
*why should i feel sorry for the people who have stabbed me in the back?

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
*and in todays age, get divorced, but prolong it as much as possible, especially if you have kids. that way you can stick it to the other person.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
*why bother? looks shouldnt matter anyway.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams
don't have much
*no need to dream when youre losing everything youve worked for.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the
only way to live life completely.
*how many times does one need to get hurt in order to learn the lesson here?

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
*and what happens when they do it to you, turn the other cheek so they can slap that one too?

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
*tell me about it. you should see some of the people im related to.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
*the slower you talk, the quicker people quit listening

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer,
smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
*i can answer this one real quick... its because they want to spread rumors.

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve
great risk.
*and great risk means you might just lose everything.

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
*so you can be called on the carpet for harassment by someone who is agnostic.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
*how many times does one need to lose though? what if you always feel like youre losing?

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: R espect for self; Respect for
others; and responsibility for all your actions.
*you can respect all you want, but most of the people i know would rather blame someone else for their actions

EIGHTEEN Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
*if this person really fucks you over, was it a great friendship to begin with?

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate
steps to correct it.
*so people can see how stupid you were.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in
your voice.
*and think youre full of shit.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
*right, people dont want to spend time with you to begin with anyway.