bozodog
May 23 2006, 04:37 PM
Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if
They aren't
Prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney
Called his first
Witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand He
Approached her
And
Asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.
Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and
Frankly, you've
Been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your
Wife, you
Manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think
You're a
Big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never
Will amount to
Anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he
Pointed across
The
Room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
Attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr.
Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted,
And he has a
Drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with
Anyone and
His
Law practice is
One of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
Cheated on his
Wife
With three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes,
I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and
In a very
Quiet
Voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she
Knows me, I'll
Throw
Your sorry asses in jail for contempt."