Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if

They aren't

Prepared for the answer.



In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney

Called his first

Witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand He

Approached her

And

Asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"



She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.

Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and

Frankly, you've



Been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your

Wife, you

Manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.

You think

You're a

Big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never

Will amount to



Anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."



The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he

Pointed across

The

Room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense

Attorney?"



She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr.

Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted,

And he has a

Drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with

Anyone and

His

Law practice is

One of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he

Cheated on his

Wife

With three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes,

I know him."



The defense attorney almost died.



The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and

In a very

Quiet

Voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she

Knows me, I'll

Throw

Your sorry asses in jail for contempt."