In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait"

At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

Sign at a Chicago radiator shop: "Best place in town to take a leak"

On a Plumbers truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

On the trucks of a local plumbing company: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

On the truck of a carpet installer. "We lay the best and service the rest."