WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
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>She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
>Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
>Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
>Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
>And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
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>WOMEN'S REVENGE
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>"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
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>So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked
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>"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
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>UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
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>I know I'm not going to understand women.
>I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
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>MARRIAGE SEMINAR
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>While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
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>"It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
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>He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
>Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
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>The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.
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>CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
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>A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
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>She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"
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>He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ........... so does she." (I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
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>WIFE VS HUSBAND
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>A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
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>"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
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>WORDS
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>A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
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>The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men."
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>The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
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>CREATION
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>A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
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>"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"
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>WHO DOES WHAT
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>A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
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>The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
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>The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
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>Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
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>Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
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>So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

I refuse to reply to such sexist comments

pansy.