Grandkids Options

[maxnmike]

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.

He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62."

He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"


*********************************************************************

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into
old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.

As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her
patience grew thin.

At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their
room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.

As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a
trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

*******************************************************************

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our
pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I
sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"


***************************************************************


A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's
word processor.

She told him she was writing a story.

"What's it about?" he asked.

"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."



************************************************************************

When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept
the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.

Still, a few fireflies followed us in.

Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa.
The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."



************************************************************************

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm
not sure."

"Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm four
to six."

************************************************************

A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother,
"Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."

The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her
cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"

"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and
add 'es'"



************************************************************************

Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said
a teacher.

The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."

The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what
pregnant means?" she asked.

Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."



************************************************************************

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of
kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat
of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.

The children started discussing the dog's duties. They use him to
keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No, said another, "he's just
for good luck."

A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs",
she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."