TOO OLD TO SQUAT

Two exceptional male models who took really good care of their bodies went for a highly paid job.

They lifted weights and jogged six miles each and every day.

The job for was an ad at a nude beach.

The problem was they were suntanned all over with the exception of their penises.

After all the oohing and awing of their bodies they were told if they could get an even tan they would have the job.

They went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried themselves in the sand, except for their penis, which was left sticking out of the sand.

A bit later, two little old ladies came strolling along the beach, one using a cane to help her get along. Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, the lady with the use of her cane began to move the penis round.

Remarking to the other little old lady, she said, "I just
can't believe it!!! There really is no justice in the world." The other little old lady asked, "What do you mean by that?"

The first little old lady replied, "Look at that. When I was20, I was curious about it.
When I was 30, I enjoyed it.
When I was 40, I asked for it.
When I was 50, I paid for it.
When I was 60, I prayed for it.
When I was 70, I forgot about it.
"Now that I'm 80, the damned things are growing wild, and I'm too old to squat."

Philosophy of Sex

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome
things that money can buy."
--Tom Clancy


"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
--Steve Martin


"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen


"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday
night."
--Rodney Dangerfield


"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,
particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
--Lynn Lavner


"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the
taxidermist."
--Matt Barry


"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--George Burns


"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are
unimportant."
--George Burns


"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole
relationships."
--Sharon Stone


"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's
reading."
--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)


"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson


"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but
he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think Barbara had
a sense of humor)


"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams


"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the
only time of the month that I can be myself."
--Roseanne


"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal


"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are
just grateful."
--Robert De Niro


"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?"
--Dustin Hoffman


"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I
know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
--Jerry Seinfeld


"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't
like and just give her a house."
--Rod Stewart


"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out
> shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite
> traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you.
> Here's how the scam works.
>
> Two very good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you
> are putting you bags into your trunk. They both start wiping your
> windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out
> of their skimpy t-shirts. It is impossible not to look.
>
> When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say, "No", and instead
> ask you for a ride to another Home Depot, Menard's or Lowe's. You agree
> and they get into the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with
> each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and
> performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.
>
> I had my wallet stolen December 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th,
> 20th, & 24th and then again on the 27th and 29th. Also on January 1st,
> twice on the 2nd, very likely again this upcoming weekend.
>
> SO BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!

live and let die- live and let die

now keep in mind that the line <CCMike> got to tell'em twice and then lead them by the hand
was supposed to said in another room OOPS!!!




Evan_> hey guys i have a question about using the print screen key
<CaT> k
<CaT> whats the question?
<Evan_> well i am trying to make a tutorials for powerpoint and i need a picture of each step so i need to show them to click File then open but i use the print screen key and press alt but when i do that the File menu dissappears
<CaT> why u pressing alt?
<Evan_> because i need a picture of just that window
<CCMike> Evan_, with the desktop showing use ctrl + prnt screen to copy and ctrl + V to paste the desktop image
<CaT> use the
<CaT> ewrr follwo mike he typed it befor eme
<CCMike> or ther windows you want a copy of
<Evan_> sorry mike i only understand thata bit
<CCMike> - r -s
<Evan_> can u explain again (sorry)
<CCMike> open the window you want a copy of ...press the ctrl and the print screen keys together
<CCMike> do it
<Evan_> okay hold on
<Evan_> i did but it shows all the other widnows open behind it
<CCMike> ok now go to the pp frame your making and put the cursor where you want the screen shot
<Evan_> okay hold on
<CCMike> and press ctrl + V keys together
<Evan_> it woks fine in pp but in word it does not it shows all the other windows behind it
<CaT> brb bios update need to reboot
* CaT has quit IRC (Quit: CaT)
* Pandy has joined #bleepingcomputer
<w00t> [Pandy] {{{Hello}}}
* w00t sets mode: +o Pandy
<CCMike> the open the windows you want to full view and copy it
<CCMike> -s
<Salemander> sari will want that s
<Evan_> o okay
<Evan_> thanks mike
<CCMike> yw
<robroy> {{{{Pandy}}}}
<Pandy> {{{robroy}}}
<CCMike> Pandy!!
<CCMike> robroy!!
<CCMike> hehe
<Pandy> Mike!!!
<robroy> CCMike!!
<robroy> lol
<CCMike> got to tell'em twice and then lead them by the hand
<CCMike> oops
<CCMike> wrong room
<robroy> lmao

Welcome O wise and knowledgable Noggish one!!!

Good to see you here'


CCMike

Arick
Things may look bad at the moment but.... things will get better maybe not right away but they will. Hang tough and try to keep good spirits as that will make a huge difference whatever happens. I will have good thoughts and prayers for your situation.
CCMike