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> Thank You All..., so very much
sin
post Dec 7 2005, 07:12 AM
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From: Roswell, New Mexico
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an email my grandmother sent me...

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send
me your chain letters and jokes over the past few years. Thank you for
making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your
concern

1. I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet
stains.

2. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make
these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their
cans.

3. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes
cancer.

4. I no longer check the coin ret! urn on pay phones because I
could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

5. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell
like a water buffalo on a hot day.

6. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me
with a perfume sample and rob me.

7. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are
actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

8. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't
support our troops.

9. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial
a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell - with
calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

10. I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the testosterone and
estrogens they contain will turn me lesbian or gay.

11. I no longer eat at KFC because their chickens are actually
horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

12. I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take my
kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

13. Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers
if I forward an email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5
minutes.

14. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl
who has been dying for the past seven years.

15. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I
receive the $15,000 that; Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special e-mail program.

I will now return the favor. If you don't send this e-mail to at least
1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will fly
over your head at 5:00 pm and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest
your armpits. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a
friend of a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer!

Thanks Again!


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bozodog
post Dec 8 2005, 11:19 AM
Post #2


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: tongue.gif wink.gif Ya just gotta love g'mas.... Heh and chain e-mailers.


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